The Joy of Communicating With Teens © 2009 By Lynn Rebuck
Anyone who has raised teens or been around a teen for more than a few minutes knows this universal truth---teens truly speak a different language. And today it’s more technology-based and harder than ever to get their attention.
How do you communicate with a kid who is text messaging on a cellphone, playing Guitar Hero while Wii-fitting on a balance board and battling on World of Warcraft?
Teens today are immersed in a culture of constant instantaneous connection, and although the exchanges are often brief and coded, they have been known to continue all night (has your child ever awakened for school the next morning with cellphone still in hand, and a caller still on the line?).
Most American teenagers speak English with a dialect---or, as I call it, a "dialectronics."
Everything today is based on text-messaging, instant messaging, social networking on Twitter and Facebook, and whatever the next fad to come through the internet “pipeline” will be. And we have Al Gore to thank for it all.
Despite the technological advances, we parents still have the same basic challenge: get kids to do chores, finish homework, and be responsible. So we need to learn to speak their language.
Keep in mind, the average attention span of a teen is negative 3 seconds. If you want a teenager to do something, you have to actually finish saying what you need to say before you started saying it. Otherwise, you get the eye-roll.
Granted, at times is seems that trying to convey a message to teens, especially if it involves work or movement of any kind, is like walking into a foreign country with high expectations only to have your sincere efforts at communication met with blank stares. Gestures are ineffective.
So, in an effort to improve communication between parents and teens, I am offering a few phrases to help. Remember parents, no matter what chore you need done, phrase it in computer terms.
Here’s how a recent conversation with my teen went:
Technologically-challenged Mom: “I need you to upload the laundry.”
Texting Teen: tap, tap, tap, tap…
Type-A Mom: “You need to download the dishwasher.”
Texting and Computer-playing Teen: tap, tap, tap, tap…
Tired Mom: “You need to stream the shower and post your towel when you’re done.”
Texting Teen who just signed on to Xbox 360: “I’ll do that in the morning.”
Frustrated but still-trying Mom: “Put the lid back on the toothpaste YouTube and don’t forget to Google with mouthwash.”
Texting Teen whose phone is ringing: “I’m not gonna, the sink is gross.”
About-to-Explode Mom: “The sink is backed up. Something is blogging the drain and I need you to delete the gunk in the trap under the sink.”
Texting Teen who just got Twittered: “No way.” Tap...tap...tap…
Determined Mom: “And another thing: “Don’t park your car in MySpace in the driveway. Park it on the street. “
Our parents relied on Dr. Spock for parenting advice. I think our generation needs advice from Star Trek’s Mr. Spock.
After an hour of trying, I did the chores myself and mumbled, “Beam me up, Scotty. I think my communicator’s broken."
Lynn Rebuck writes a weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express. You can email her at lynnrebuck@live.com
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Rock the Electoral Vote by Lynn Rebuck Copyright 2008
Rock the Electoral Vote by Lynn Rebuck Copyright 2008 Lynn Rebuck
If you ask me, the Presidential election isn’t over yet.
Thankfully, the campaign ads have ended. Unfortunately, the ads about erectile dysfunction have not.
You may say that I am in denial about the outcome of the election, or you may say that I am well-informed.
I asked Lititz resident Rich Filling for his opinion, and he says I’m right.
And he should know. Filling is the former Commissioner of Elections for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and a former member of the Electoral College.
Up until now, every four years I have been forced to admit my ignorance concerning how we elect our president. Several years ago I actually applied for a scholarship to the Electoral College. I ran into a little problem when I tried to arrange for a campus visit. This year, I decided to become informed.
As most of Jeff Foxworthy’s 5th graders know, we, the people, in order to keep our more perfect union running, don’t really elect the President. The Electoral College does that.
But what most Americans aren’t aware of is that the Electoral College doesn’t meet until December 15. So the 2008 Presidential election isn’t a done deal.
We may still end up with President Hillary Clinton. Or better yet, President Palin.
You see, Presidential electors don’t always vote for their party’s candidate.
The first one to rock the electoral vote was a rebellious Pennsylvanian. The year was 1796.
Before becoming a Presidential Elector, Samuel Miles was the mayor of Philadelphia, which was a bustling town that had about three times the population of present-day Lititz.
Miles did not vote for the Federalist candidate to whom he was pledged, John Adams. He voted instead for that gifted writer and inventor of the architectural column, Thomas Jefferson, the Democratic-Republican candidate for President.
Whoa, hold on. Democratic-Republican? What did they have on the map back then, purple states? How did the town crier, Anderson Cooper, who was the son of a designer barrel-maker and an actual cooper during the day, define the states during the evening cry?
Even with Miles on his side, Jefferson was not elected president, but he did receive enough electoral votes to become vice president. If that job had not panned out, he would have been forced to become a political analyst on CNN, the Crier News Network.
Back to present-day politics.
I hope to attend the ceremony at the State Capitol at noon on December 15th to witness our next President being elected by the Commonwealth’s elected electors.
“Nobody ever comes,” said Rich Filling, who twice was the Sergeant of Arms for the Electoral College ceremony. I think it’s time for that to change.
Speaking of change, if you’re not happy with the way the election turned out, it’s not too late.
Contact your state's Presidential electors today. Tell them to Rock the Electoral Vote.
Lynn Rebuck writes a weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express in Lititz, PA. She is still desperately clinging to her guns and religion. You can email her at lynnrebuck@live.com.
If you ask me, the Presidential election isn’t over yet.
Thankfully, the campaign ads have ended. Unfortunately, the ads about erectile dysfunction have not.
You may say that I am in denial about the outcome of the election, or you may say that I am well-informed.
I asked Lititz resident Rich Filling for his opinion, and he says I’m right.
And he should know. Filling is the former Commissioner of Elections for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and a former member of the Electoral College.
Up until now, every four years I have been forced to admit my ignorance concerning how we elect our president. Several years ago I actually applied for a scholarship to the Electoral College. I ran into a little problem when I tried to arrange for a campus visit. This year, I decided to become informed.
As most of Jeff Foxworthy’s 5th graders know, we, the people, in order to keep our more perfect union running, don’t really elect the President. The Electoral College does that.
But what most Americans aren’t aware of is that the Electoral College doesn’t meet until December 15. So the 2008 Presidential election isn’t a done deal.
We may still end up with President Hillary Clinton. Or better yet, President Palin.
You see, Presidential electors don’t always vote for their party’s candidate.
The first one to rock the electoral vote was a rebellious Pennsylvanian. The year was 1796.
Before becoming a Presidential Elector, Samuel Miles was the mayor of Philadelphia, which was a bustling town that had about three times the population of present-day Lititz.
Miles did not vote for the Federalist candidate to whom he was pledged, John Adams. He voted instead for that gifted writer and inventor of the architectural column, Thomas Jefferson, the Democratic-Republican candidate for President.
Whoa, hold on. Democratic-Republican? What did they have on the map back then, purple states? How did the town crier, Anderson Cooper, who was the son of a designer barrel-maker and an actual cooper during the day, define the states during the evening cry?
Even with Miles on his side, Jefferson was not elected president, but he did receive enough electoral votes to become vice president. If that job had not panned out, he would have been forced to become a political analyst on CNN, the Crier News Network.
Back to present-day politics.
I hope to attend the ceremony at the State Capitol at noon on December 15th to witness our next President being elected by the Commonwealth’s elected electors.
“Nobody ever comes,” said Rich Filling, who twice was the Sergeant of Arms for the Electoral College ceremony. I think it’s time for that to change.
Speaking of change, if you’re not happy with the way the election turned out, it’s not too late.
Contact your state's Presidential electors today. Tell them to Rock the Electoral Vote.
Lynn Rebuck writes a weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express in Lititz, PA. She is still desperately clinging to her guns and religion. You can email her at lynnrebuck@live.com.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
LES MIS AND LES MILEY
I realized where photographer Annie Leibovitz got her inspiration for the Miley Cyrus photo...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Snow Daze
I wouldn't mind winter if it weren't for all the snow, sleet, and school closings.
A few years ago I picked the worst winter to move my family from sunny California to frigid Pennsylvania. My three children and I were greeted by a record-breaking string of low temperatures, the fifth-largest snowstorm in recorded history in the area, and a smart-aleck groundhog that predicted six more weeks of winter (I didn’t know groundhogs could snicker).
Within a few short weeks after our arrival we witnessed every possible variation of snow, from fierce blizzard conditions to gently floating crystalline flakes. I shoveled, scraped, deiced, shoveled, salted and shoveled again. And that was just for one storm.
I coveted my neighbor’s snow blower.
Our wardrobes increased considerably. As for my personal fashion taste, I really got into Thinsulate. It lined my gloves, my boots, my hat, and filled my coat. Next winter I am considering having a complete Thinsulate body wrap until the spring thaw. If that fails, I may resort to reverse liposuction to stay warm.
There are secrets to staying warm here, which any native can tell you: 1) Dress in layers (although no one tells you how many layers you‘ll need. 23 works best for me. I just get up in the morning and put on everything that’s in my closet). 2) Keep your head covered, since most of your body heat is lost from your head (while you try to figure out why you’re still living in this cold climate). 3) Move to Florida.
This winter I made “figure eights” on the ice -- while I was driving. I learned the fine art of skidding gracefully (it involves the absence of any look of panic). The trick is to make it look like you actually planned to slide sideways through the intersection.
I had no need to go to a gym for fitness classes. Icy sidewalks inspired me to create a new aerobic workout more strenuous than stepping, sliding and Tae-Bo. It involved slipping, falling, and struggling to stand again. So much for walking in a winter wonderland.
My children reveled in the joy of a new phenomenon to them -- the “snow day.” This is a day when school is canceled due to weather and road conditions that are deemed too dangerous for children to travel to school. Instead, the jubilant children stay home and snowboard down steep hills with their eyes closed and sled out into the street.
There is no doubt that a winter storm draws a family closer together. This forced togetherness creates a scene reminiscent of Norman Rockwell paintings. The children and I huddled around the laptop warming our hands. Their faces glowed and their cheeks looked rosy from all the outdoor activity (or it might have been frostbite).
The locals told me this was an unusually harsh winter, that it doesn’t usually snow this much, and that it hasn’t been this cold during the previous few winters. I will admit there were times when I thought that just a little global warming sounded pretty good.
The last storm of freezing rain left behind a glistening wonderland of ice-coated trees. It also froze the doors of my car shut, with me inside.
Copyright 2007 Lynn Rebuck
A few years ago I picked the worst winter to move my family from sunny California to frigid Pennsylvania. My three children and I were greeted by a record-breaking string of low temperatures, the fifth-largest snowstorm in recorded history in the area, and a smart-aleck groundhog that predicted six more weeks of winter (I didn’t know groundhogs could snicker).
Within a few short weeks after our arrival we witnessed every possible variation of snow, from fierce blizzard conditions to gently floating crystalline flakes. I shoveled, scraped, deiced, shoveled, salted and shoveled again. And that was just for one storm.
I coveted my neighbor’s snow blower.
Our wardrobes increased considerably. As for my personal fashion taste, I really got into Thinsulate. It lined my gloves, my boots, my hat, and filled my coat. Next winter I am considering having a complete Thinsulate body wrap until the spring thaw. If that fails, I may resort to reverse liposuction to stay warm.
There are secrets to staying warm here, which any native can tell you: 1) Dress in layers (although no one tells you how many layers you‘ll need. 23 works best for me. I just get up in the morning and put on everything that’s in my closet). 2) Keep your head covered, since most of your body heat is lost from your head (while you try to figure out why you’re still living in this cold climate). 3) Move to Florida.
This winter I made “figure eights” on the ice -- while I was driving. I learned the fine art of skidding gracefully (it involves the absence of any look of panic). The trick is to make it look like you actually planned to slide sideways through the intersection.
I had no need to go to a gym for fitness classes. Icy sidewalks inspired me to create a new aerobic workout more strenuous than stepping, sliding and Tae-Bo. It involved slipping, falling, and struggling to stand again. So much for walking in a winter wonderland.
My children reveled in the joy of a new phenomenon to them -- the “snow day.” This is a day when school is canceled due to weather and road conditions that are deemed too dangerous for children to travel to school. Instead, the jubilant children stay home and snowboard down steep hills with their eyes closed and sled out into the street.
There is no doubt that a winter storm draws a family closer together. This forced togetherness creates a scene reminiscent of Norman Rockwell paintings. The children and I huddled around the laptop warming our hands. Their faces glowed and their cheeks looked rosy from all the outdoor activity (or it might have been frostbite).
The locals told me this was an unusually harsh winter, that it doesn’t usually snow this much, and that it hasn’t been this cold during the previous few winters. I will admit there were times when I thought that just a little global warming sounded pretty good.
The last storm of freezing rain left behind a glistening wonderland of ice-coated trees. It also froze the doors of my car shut, with me inside.
Copyright 2007 Lynn Rebuck
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